As I was cleaning up about two week ago, I chanced upon an article which I tore from the pages of a Chalk magazine. The issue was June 2010 and the fact that I kept it all these years reminded me why when I saw it again. The article was titled Tease Test and written by Patricia Lazatin. In the article, a tease was defined as a “person who knowingly [leads] someone on without any intention of following through.”
Seven types of teases were identified to help the reader determine if they are encountering one and how to avoid them. Reiterated from the same article, each has been listed below.
- The Serial Texter
You’re exchanging “How was your day” via text every day, instant messaging “What’s up,” and leaving messages on each other’s Walls. But that’s it. They never ask you out or bother to make the first move.
Don’t waste your energy pining over this tease. Save yourself the effort, and try not to be so eager in replying to every message.
- The Friends with Benefits
Anytime they need a favour, you’d be happy to help. Are they alone at the mall? You’ll be there. Do they need help with homework? Okay!
The friend with benefits benefits from your eagerness to please them. Don’t think they’ll come around and realize your worth. Love yourself instead, and remember: You’re worth more than this tease deserves.
- The Über [Super] Nice
It’s hard to say no to the über nice. They always make sure you’ve eaten or you have a ride home. And they’re too nice to tell you they’re not really into you.
Be nice to yourself and try staying a safe distance from the über nice. If they really were into you, they’d let you know – instead of teasing you with niceness.
- The Touchy-Feely
You don’t mind when they casually drape their arms around your shoulder or reach for your hand when walking. The touchy-feely just can’t help themselves, and it’s not because they’re into you.
Next time you find your knees touching and your heart flutters, move an inch away and save yourself the confusion of “what ifs.”
- The Vague Inviter
“See you there” and “I’ll be there” are their mantras. They make you want to be at every party or study group. This type of tease leaves you stranded alone at a party just because they said they’d go.
Show up only if you want to genuinely be somewhere, not because you think this tease will finally be there.
- The Blatant Player
You should’ve known better. Your friends warned you and your friends’ friends have told you so. Still, you think you can be the one to tame them.
Newsflash: Only they can change themselves. This tease knows how to charm; they do it all the time. Don’t bother trying to tame them. Tame your attraction instead.
- The Already Taken
Why do we even bother? They’re already taken. Even if they’re super nice to you and invite you to lunch (with or without their special someone), remember that they’re not going to leave their current love for you. They may tease, but that’s about it.
The bottom line: They’re already taken, and you’re better off taking care of yourself.
Some students back then were also asked on how they were to define a tease and some of them answered:
“Someone’s a tease if you know she does everything to play you, and it makes you do everything to be played with.” – Barry Villoria, UP Diliman
“A tease has the ability to leave someone wanting more while cutting them short of their expectations.” – Mayte Uyengco, ADMU
And finally, Bianca Gonzales’ take on a tease:
“I am one person who respects very much the different personality types, and I guess “teases” are one of them. I don’t really know what drives them to be that way, but for the girls, knowing your value as a woman and how you should be respected and treated should convince yourself to respect and treat yourself the right way.”
So indeed, I chose to keep the article to serve as a constant reminder that there are different people out there and that a one’s action may not always mean what the receiver of the action think it means. And though this article was written for a college audience, the same thing still applies even in the work place. At times, one person could show multiple types of teasing and the danger lies if the other person identifies the tease, a little too late and the damage has already been done.
Best to always be careful – in becoming the victim or otherwise.