Late night musings: As people change us

It is true – people change us, one way or another. In a sense, we consist of all the people we encounter throughout our lives though we may sometimes not notice it. From being this, we become that – that person whom we were not before. Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are as an old adage goes. I did not believe my mom on this one before when I was much younger and stubborn (I now have either become less or more). Later on, I realized more and more that what she was saying is true. The people we choose as our friends or people we choose to be with define us. Perhaps we may like them because they are like us in a way. Or perhaps we like them because we want to be like them. Then again, perhaps we like them without thinking about the first two mentioned above and like them simply for the good company they bring.

We may not notice it but other people do when something within us changes. Like when we are in love, we suddenly have that amazing glow that everybody takes note of – that twinkle in your eyes, that blush in your cheeks, that smile in your lips. We don’t notice those things. True, we feel happier and every moment seems like magic but the change itself is something we do not see. We become more caring, more inspired, more generous, more like the one we love. As I must have read somewhere or perhaps read, we become who we love. Even after this feeling of being in love ends, the glow disappears, and the magic is gone, we realize that we will never be the same again.

I realize that this also applies for the people we call our friends. They change us too. Even if we are not for example, a person who speaks bad words, we pick it up and begin using them perhaps not as much or at times even more than they do. Even if we do not like watching Pinoy movies because we do not like the drama found in such films, we will begin watching them and perhaps even liking them later on as well. We spend time with people who talk about intellectual things and we become more intelligent. These things may seem simple but they are just a few of the changes that actually took place or are taking place within us. We suddenly change our priorities. We have become less talkative and less open than before or otherwise. We have become humbler or prideful. We have become better or worse.

Though for the last – it is something which I cannot judge for it is something which happens to all of us and even at times, we ourselves do not know if we have improved or taken a backward step. There are clues however, I think. We may look in front of the mirror and see ourselves for who really are. Do we still like what we see? If not, then maybe it could have been a wrong turn that we took whether knowingly or not. I think it is scarier if we do not. But even scarier if we do know but still choose it.

Then again, we may like what we see but others think otherwise. That is scary too. Our own views of ourselves may have been distorted because we have been doing the same wrong thing over and over again that it seems right already. The most difficult I think would be the first time as we struggle over the two options in our minds. We wrestle and argue because at times, the things we want are not always what is right yet we want to ignore that part about it having to be “right” just so we could have our way. If the choice we made defies what we know is right, it becomes easier and easier afterward. I do believe, however, that even if it might have become easier, we still have the chance to make the better choice the next time around before we lose our senses over what is right and wrong.

The choice we made could have possibly been influenced by people we care about the most – be it family, friends, or special people in our lives. We may have never made that decision before but that is only until we met this person or these people. We do not see the impact they have created on us but it is actually already that much.

I guess it could go either way. We could change after someone has inspired us to the point that it changed the way we look at life completely. We could change as well, after we join a wrong crowd. We have become someone we have never expected ourselves to be – be it for the good or bad.

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